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In Commemoration of our 115
years of serving our Community
Let me
introduce myself
Is it who I am or what I do?
Born
in Saint John, I am one of the six children of Jessie and the
Late Nicholas Baldwin. In 1973, the Baldwin's moved to
Campbelton where I graduated from Sugarloaf Senior High School
in 1978. I have always loved working with the public. When I was
15, a school friend and I owned and operated an ice-cream store
in Campbelton. At 16, I took a summer job working in the kitchen
of the Provincial Hospital (later called Restigouche Hospital
Centre). At 17, I returned to the Hospital, but as a Psychiatric
Attendant III, on the geriatric units, where I continued to work
for the next few summers and for a year after graduation.
In the fall of 1979, I went to UNB to
take business and in the spring of 1980 I began my career at
Maher's Funeral Home. Home from University for the summer, my
father suggested I apply for a summer job at Maher’s Funeral
Home. I was in complete state of shock that he thought this was
the place for me. I had only been in a funeral home twice in my
life, once, when I was in grade 10 when a friend of mine’s
father passed away, and in January of that year when my
grandfather passed away. So for the life of me, I couldn’t
imagine why he thought I would want a job in a funeral home.
With my father’s encouragement (to say the least), I met with
Holt Maher and his son Noonan, and the rest, as they say, is
history.
In 1981, my father had a heart attack
and being in the funeral industry, I suggested to my mother that
we should prearrange dad’s funeral, “just in case,” I said, not
thinking anything would ever happen, after all he was as strong
as an ox and bigger than life. Three years later he died at the
age of 58. I was working for Lloyd Mallory at Tuttle Funeral
Home in Moncton and for the first time in my life I knew what it
was like to have someone I really love and admire die. It was
so different being on the other side of the desk from the
funeral director arranging dad’s funeral. I was so glad that
everything had been prearranged, so many decisions to make and
so little time. People have all the time in the world to
plan the perfect wedding, birthday or anniversary celebrations
but we only had a few days to plan a “Celebration of Life” that
was truly a tribute befitting my dad. On the day of his funeral
I was the last person to leave the visitation room in the
funeral home. Everyone else had gone to their cars to leave for
the church. As I knelt there at my dad’s casket and said good
bye, I thanked him for always being my inspiration and the
supporter of my life as a funeral director.
As a young apprentice, I was taught
that you always wore a shirt, tie and jacket when going to pick
up a person who had passed away. It showed respect for the
living and the dead. You always held the door, spoke politely
and gave a friendly smile, but, as a young person in the funeral
industry I quickly realized that, the job was much more than
that. Being a Funeral Director had to come first, before
anything else. If I was off for a weekend and the funeral home
was busy I would get a call and go in. Death knows no time, and
does not care if it is a holiday, a weekend or a special time
for your family. A funeral director must be dedicated to
those who are in need no matter when or where the death may
occur. It is a 24 hour, 7 day a week commitment that offers
little more than an opportunity to help those in need with
sincerity, compassion and understanding.
With this dedication, soon one day lead into another and
days into weeks and weeks into months and then years, 28 years
just slipped by. The calendar doesn’t mean much to a funeral
director, when duty calls we must be there for other people’s
family before our own. Like most young funeral directors with
a young family, I missed most birthdays and Christmas’. Just as
we would get into a celebration of one kind or another the phone
would ring and off I’d go putting on my suit and saying the
appropriate salutation, “Happy Birthday” or “Merry Christmas”,
I’ll be back soon and leave for work. My family are quite used
to hearing, “no, I can’t pick you up” or “no, I can’t be there,
I have a funeral.” I was in the funeral industry about 10
years, when I realized who and what I had become, without even
knowing it… “A Funeral Director”. It was no longer what I did
but who I was. My occupation had become a “vocation”, a calling;
it was what I was meant to be. I felt it was God’s purpose for
me.
Over the past 28 years, I was employed
at Maher’s Funeral Home until 1981, when I relocated to Moncton
where I received my embalmer and funeral director's license
while employed at Tuttle Brothers Funeral Home.
In 1990, I accepted Flo Ross's offer to
join the "Wallace Team" in Sussex and in 1994 purchased the
company. All of my mentors had a similar philosophy of caring
and compassion, but it was Flo who said it the best, “Service
before Self”, “Wallace Funeral Home was committed to our
families since 1893 and we must, must, must treat every family
as if they were our own”, she’d say. It was with that, that she
retired and left me to carry on that Wallace Tradition. It has
been 10 years and her words still resonate in my ears. It is a
motto that I can easily live by; it comes naturally to me to
treat every person as if they were my own family. That’s just
who I am, I don’t just bury the dead. I am truly honored when
someone entrusts their loved one to my care. After all, you
don’t trust just anyone with something that means as much to you
as a loved one.
Not all funeral directors share
my sentiment on being emotionally involved with the families we
serve. I want to be as involved as the family wants me to be,
sometimes they may need a hug and at other times want some
space. I feel I need to be apart of what ever they are going
through. If they need to cry, then I cry with them and through
the pain if I can bring a hint of a smile, even for a brief
moment then maybe I’ve helped a little.
It was through the influence of the many
good funeral directors and co-workers I worked with, that I
became the funeral director I am today.
Since my dad passed away, I have lost
pre-mature twins, my wife MaryEllen at the age of 34, both sets
of grandparents, as well as aunts, uncles, cousins and friends.
Through each one of these losses, God gave me a very special
gift, the gift of truly understanding the loss of a loved one.
When someone sits across the arrangement table from me
discussing funeral arrangements, I can honestly say, “I
understand, I’ve been there, I am here to help, we’ll get
through this”.
In 1998, my life took another turn. God
brought me a gift from the big city of Minto, and with her came
two beautiful girls. On December 31st, 1999, Barb and
I were married and my family has not stopped growing. My son
Stephen is now 28, Sarah is 23,
Tara is 21, and Tasha 17. I also have six grandchildren, Connor,
Mathew, Logan, Joseph, Abigail, Erica
and one due in March.
I am so very proud to be part of this
community. Since my vocation must come first, I am not as active
as I would like to be the organizations I am involved in. I am
a member of St. Francis Xavier RC Church, and a former member of
the Church Counsel and Building Committee. I am a member and
past president of the Sussex and Area Chamber of Commerce, a
member of the Sussex Valley Council #8213 of the Knights of
Columbus, a member of Zion Lodge #21 F&AM, a member and Past
President of the Sussex Shrine Club, a member of the Maple Leaf
Shrine Unit and Luxor Temple, a member of the Royal Canadian
Legion #20, the Sussex Kiwanis Club, the New Brunswick Embalmers
and Funeral Directors Association, the Canadian Independent
Funeral Homes and The National Funeral Directors Association. I
have an article in the “Choices after 50” publication, deliver
meals on wheels and I am also the local representative for the
IWK.
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